Video calls and the strain of staying connected.
Video calls are helping us to connect as we stay away from each other. But when do we have to draw the lines to keep our sanity?
My roommate attends her nephew’s naming ceremony over Zoom.
She knows she can’t see him just yet. His cherubic face greets her from behind the screen of the phone. The choice to take to the road and arrive home to cradle him in her hands is not hers to make anymore.
Separation is the new reality for many people.
COVID-19 has separated families, lovers, and friends. All over the world we are trying to stay connected with people we care about.
Could getting on a video call with a family member be enough?
Keeping up virtual appearances
In March, Zoom users rose to over 200 million. The hike in the number of Zoom users had everything to do with people wanting to use its video call feature.
Although, it is a poor replacement for conversations in person, it is the only safe way.
Making a call is no longer a choice. We open up Skype or Zoom because these are the options that exist. Asides from safety concerns, there is also our need to be surrounded by other people and by the sounds of their voices.
These video calls are not all about seeing your family or working while talking to friends. Companies and teams have switched from board rooms to virtual platforms. Meetings must go on in a pandemic.
As a result, this is changing how we relate.
We cannot risk going to the office. But we arrive at work, this time in front of our computers. Our clothing suits the occasion, shirts buttoned up and hair combed with pajamas and bare feet.
Of course, the occasion dictates the outfit. PJs to a Whatsapp call with the significant other. Comfortable clothing for family calls on Skype and Facebook Messenger. A button-up shirt and boxers for Skype, Slack, and Zoom when presenting your reports to the team.
Knowing what to wear and what not to, is barely regarded as a serious problem. But there are issues lurking in our lit screens.
Video calling comes with its own fix of weirdness. Working while your boss is watching you isn’t always great for productivity. Pixelated faces and bad audio that necessitates repetition of sentence is tiring. Even when the faces on the screen change and the conversations are different, the fatigue from hours spent talking does not go away.
And everyone hates the silence in video calls. It feels awkward as though one is supposed to always say something. It is unlike the feeling of companionable quiet you get as you work beside a colleague or the guy you met at the co-working space.
Creating boundaries when there are no walls
Most of us will be spending more time online. In contact with other people. Getting away by switching off your devices may no longer be an option.
However, there are some things we can control. We can create boundaries to protect our mental health while working and socializing through video calls.
First, there is a need to have honest talks with employers.
True, the walls of the company building have encroached on our homes. A Zoom meeting can go on for hours with the boss yelling out instructions. Tasks arrive in your inbox late past the work hours with impossible deadlines. Some employers think that the hours you used to commute should be put to use.
Employers getting anxious about worker productivity is understandable, especially if they are unaccustomed to staff working remotely. But no one can do their best under such strain.
This is why you would need to have a conversation about work conditions with the boss if you are in this situation. Having a difficult boss will make this conversation hard but you will be more productive if you work under better conditions.
Making rules about respecting your space also applies to the people we love the most. Group phone calls with friends can get overwhelming and sometimes you just need to be alone.
Honesty will help. And a lot of scheduling. Knowing who is calling and when helps to prepare you mentally.
And this one is for all of us, the video doesn’t catch us at our best angles but we need to know it’s about communication and not about looks. We all know we might not look so great in a four-way window but that’s not enough reason to throw off a client meeting or a call with loved ones.
Explaining the need for boundaries even while apart is not an easy conversation to have. But it is a necessary one.
