What a Ferris Wheel ride taught me about Fear
My idea of fun is sitting by the sidelines watching people around me have the time of their lives. I am content in my inactivity and often have to be prodded into joining in. Most of the times I do let myself have “fun”, vacillating between paranoid thoughts of all the things that could go wrong and pure moments of glee.
Fear is crippling. Especially in my life.
I tend not to try new things because I am afraid of looking like an idiot. Or failing terribly at them. Or having a freak accident.
This is exactly why a Ferris wheel ride has never been on my bucket list.
Too far above the ground and too circular to be trusted, I avoided the Ferris wheel at Enugu’s Polo Park Mall. I stepped around it like a bad omen and refused to acknowledge its existence. I was satisfied to sit in the food court (where my feet could touch the ground and I had control over my own movements) with my friends and argue about the mundane things of life.
An evil idea found its way into our midst and took hold of my friends. A Ferris wheel ride was mentioned and all hands (except mine) shot up in favor of it. I looked out the windows and stared in horror at the malevolent looking white giant contraption and wondered why I stared at the broken mirror in my room that morning.
But it was too late, as soon as my discomfort with the idea was sensed, everyone wanted to watch me scream.
I thought of running away but the last thing I am is athletic, so I let myself be bundled into the machine and I prayed that my binge-watching of all the Final Destination installments would not be the end of me.
The ride started and it was startling. I realized that there was little difference between being seated in the chair at the foot court and the Ferris wheel booth. This was because the ride was really slow most likely due to the condition of the Ferris Wheel.
For the most part of the ride, I complained about how boring the ride was and laughed at Ezra, who was freaking out. I realized that it felt good. I stared down at Enugu city and I was not afraid.
Here’s the cliché motivational part. Don’t roll your eyes just yet. I would have a couple of weeks ago but going on this ride changed me. We should not give up new experiences because of fear. Not everything is as scary as it seems.
And at this point in my life, I really needed to know this. Mostly because I am 21, in a new city that I have no idea how to navigate with a marketing job that requires a lot of movement and interaction with total strangers and I am very scared.
But my new life in Enugu feels a little bit easier to survive when I look at it as just another Ferris wheel ride. New and scary but nothing that I cannot handle.
